Antipodean antics

As any of you, our loyal readers, will know I am normally loath to write about myself on this blog less it turn into a “journal” blog. I have been writing about my latest project (besides my last novel being published in the autumn) in the form of G.o.D. However, the events of last weekend force me to share with you the sheer idiocy some of the antipodeans who come to London. Below you will find a photo of the bonfire they had roaring away right next to our building.

What amazed me was the sheer lack of common sense shown by these people. As I had a mate over, I did a bit of a rain-dance to put it out. To our amazement (ok, mine, he wasn’t surprised at all) it started belting down right after I finished the dance. To add to the effect, we got some lightning as well. The rain forced them inside, so we were no longer being asphyxiated by the fumes. You would think this would have meant they would have turned their music down…but it didn’t. Partly due to the fire and the noise, we decided to call our local noise/nuisance boys to get them to calm down a bit. Between the call and their arrival Oz & South Africa’s finest had re-lit the damn thing. The noise boys were absolutely shocked to see the back room in my flat glowing from a fire right below it. These two nice blokes did their job and shut the party down.

But a bizarre evening had one more surprise in store for me.

Once the gentlemen had left, I was yelled at by a French man who said: “you are a coward… you had to send two of your agents!” I was unable to hear the rest of his rant as my friend and I were laughing too hard to hear any more. His words were heavily accented, so I did not manage to hear if he called them zionist or not. Besides the idiotic rant, what was most amusing is that this bloke sounded just like John Cleese’s Frenchman in Holy Grail.

For the next few hours until 5am-ish we had to deal with a pissed off South African playing his guitar (badly) loud enough to annoy all his neighbours.